Gracelandwest.com

Randall P. Girdner

Raised by wild chimps on a rural Oklahoma drive-thru safari, Randall P. Girdner learned to cope by vanishing into his own worlds of fantasy and wonder whenever problems would plague his existence.  Since then, he has continued to delve into his own world through writing and drawing (and, occasionally, recording his own music, though the less said about that, the better…).

Randall P. became a teacher reluctantly in 1995, hoping instead for Hollywood stardom and the riches that go with such rewards.  Alas, he found his reward in enriching the minds of middle and high school students in Scottsdale, Arizona at the world-renowned Arcadia Neighborhood Learning Center.  There, he blazed a trail of educational innovation and style that academics and scholars continue to analyze to this very day.  “Never before,” said one Harvard professor, “And never again will we see such an instructor burn through the heavens in such a bright and glorious blaze.”

Ever the romantic, Randall P. began to hear the call of the yonder, and, fearing being stuck as a teacher at the same school district for the next fifty years, Randall struck out from Arizona to a land of mystery and intrigue known as CHINA, specifically, Shanghai.  While there, he taught at the Shanghai American School.  Considering that this was his first trip outside the United States, the China adventure was eye-opening.  Yet it was not as eye-opening as his first trip to the Long Bar at the Portman hotel, where he turned to see a gorgeous young maiden by the name of Tracey standing next to him.  Their love was instantaneous and it was but three short years later when they were married.

While in China, Randall P. traveled to destinations both far and wide, including Kashgar, Bangkok, Khatmandu, Cairns, Manilla, and Hanoi.

Yet it was Randall P.’s trip to Orillia, Ontario in the summer of 2000 that was the most memorable, for not only did he get married that summer, he also began the grand process of becoming a citizen of Canada.

Randall P. and his new bride moved to Vancouver, British Columbia in July of 2000, renting an apartment in the West End, very close to Stanley Park, and lived a joyous and happy existence as a young, hip, edgy couple, going to all of the hippest nightclubs and most popular restaurants, finding their photos pasted across the gossip pages of the city.  Yet somewhere towards the end of 2001, they gave up on the jet-set lifestyle and decided to have a child.  In 2002, Harper was born (and she soon inspired the comic book character of the same name).

Harper came along with the help of a mid-wife (two, actually) right and Tracey and Randall P.’s downtown Vancouver apartment, much to the consternation of the medical establishment, and though this cabal of doctors and businessmen tried to foil those events through dastardly means, including propaganda, sabotage, and assassination squads, everything about the birth went fine and a happy, healthy child was born.  After a wonderful year with their lovely daughter, the doting couple decided to give winter a try and they moved to Toronto in 2003.

Randall P. mocked winter to its face and payed nightly for such mind-boggling temperatures and snowfall so that he could brag to all around him about how he “survived” the dreaded northern climes.  Alas, it was just another Canadian winter that year, a novelty at first that eventually turned him into just another dude from Ontario complaining about the winter.  They spent that winter east of Toronto in a small town called Newcastle, and it wasn’t long before another little bundle was born named Abbey (also born at home, despite further threats and tut-tuts from the “medical establishment”).

After the birth of Abbey, Randall P. and Tracey decided that small town life was not for them and they moved to Toronto.  This was obviously because of their previous jet-setting lifestyle and the desire for expensive organic vegetables and a healthier lifestyle.  Oh, and they hated the massively long commute.  In 2005,

Randall P. became a Canadian citizen and the doors of opportunity opened.  Randall’s swearing in as a Canadian citizen was an interesting affair and he wonders why that chicken was sacrificed and what the importance of pledging eternal allegiance to the governor-general and her minions really meant, but be that as it may, he was quite happy that Canada could no longer kick him out at their leisure.

In 2006, the whole family got the itch to travel and after a trip to Disneyworld failed to satiate that desire (though the Haunted Mansion almost did it), they eventually moved from Toronto to Accra, Ghana for their African Adventure to teach at the Lincoln Community School.  With the help of Lucy the Nanny, the family spent two years in those humid climes and enjoyed the cultural and social experience it presented.    Randall P. learned to suffer through the tuants of the Ghanaians at the sheer amount of sweat he produced ad how he would flip out when the electricity would go off or he would run out of water.  However, it was Randall P.’s horrible bouts with Malaria and scarlet fever that precipitated their exit form the country.

Strangely enough, the family ended up back in Shanghai, teaching at Shanghai Community International School, where they are to this day.  Tracey teaches music and Randall P teaches drama and film to an eager and excited group of students, all in one of the most dynamic cities on the planet.

In all of this time, Randall wrote and produced a wide variety of entertaining “stuff.”  This includes the award-winning* comic strip TJHS 1987, a comic loosely based uon his own exploits as a teenager at Tahlequah Junior High School in (wait for it…) the year 1987.  The 365 strip run is reproduced daily on this very website.  In 2005, he also began documenting the day to day lives of his daughters in the comic strip Harper & Abbey, which he still continues to this day.

His crowning achievement, however, is his middle grade novel, entitled, Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents Boyd McCloyd and the Perpetual Motion Machine. This award-winning* series of books follows the infamous Boyd McCloyd, his sister Cindy, a yeti, and a talking crocodile as they run Acclimated Spooks, Light & Power and produce yearly editions of Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird. It is the series that Randall P. Works on to this day.

Yet Randall P. Does so much more.  He writes plays, he draws pictures, and he inspires students by yelling at them for little or no reason at all.  He is a world-renowned philanthropist and founder of the acclaimed and award-winning* organization, Serious & Earnest, Inc. whose work throughout the globe inspires world peace and harmony.

Randall P. Girdner is truly an inspiration to the world and only by striving for the ideals set forth by his example can we hope for the world to become a better place.  Long live Randall P. Girdner!

*the term “award-winning” is only used here for eye-catching and promotional purposes.  No awards were actually won.