Boyd McCloyd

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Who is Boyd McCloyd?

Is he savior of the world? Is he a hero for our times? Or is he merely a thirteen-year old boy from Ontario thrust into a most unusual situation?

Boyd McCloyd. Thirteen-years old. Mr. Ping had plans for this young man and those plans involved Boyd writing the world famous “Almanac of the Twisted & Weird”. The only problem is that when you write about things that are Twisted & Weird, you end up running into a lot of things that are Twisted & Weird. Join Boyd, his sister Cindy, Reggie the Yeti, Smelts the Crocodile, Ho Yin, and Bjorn the Polar Bear on their grand adventures around the world in this series of books by celebrated author* Randall P. Girdner. Click below to find out how to get YOUR copies.

*Note: Randall P. Girdner is not actually “celebrated”.

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Boyd McCloyd and the Perpetual Motion Machine

Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents

Boyd McCloyd and the Perpetual Motion Machine

On the day that the meanest man in Hong Kong kidnapped his parents, thirteen-year-old Boyd McCloyd found out he had a new job from an eight-foot tall yeti in a pinstripe suit. The job in question: Boyd was to continue to produce yearly editions of The Almanac of the Twisted and Weird (the world’s number one printed resource for the odd and unusual, macabre and profane, twisted and…weird). However, because Boyd had inherited this job from the venerable Confucius Ping, he also inherited Mr. Ping’s enemies, every one of which had made it their lifelong goal to destroy everything that Mr. Ping represented. This dastardly and treacherous group of werewolves, leprechauns, mutant swordfish, dwarf giants, and various other cadres of criminals includes the very man who had kidnapped Boyd’s parents: Mr. Fang.

Read More and Buy This Thing!

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Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents

Boyd McCloyd and the Atomic Baby from Mars

Ever babysit a kid from Mars?

Boyd, Reggie, Smelts, and Cindy are about to find out that it’s not as easy as one might think. When a rocket containing a baby lands in a field in Kansas, the gang from Acclimated Spooks are going to have a hard time taking care of that little one. What they don’t know, however, is that there’s more to this baby than they ever imagined. When the kid starts to age at a rapid pace and attract the interest of the Conspiricetti, everyone soon realizes that this kid might be the key to saving the world…or ending it.

Read More and Buy This Thing!

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Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents

Boyd McCloyd and the Black Ooze, Part 1

A thirteen-year old kid. A yeti. A crocodile named “Smelts”. It sounds like the beginnings of a bad joke until one realizes that these three reluctant heroes are all that stands in the way of a nefarious plan to rob a museum, cure an illness, and, perhaps, enslave the entirity of the human race. What is the Golden Lotus and why is it important? They’ll soon find out…

MEANWHILE…

The World’s Smartest Fifth-Grader is now friends with a hyper-intelligent chimpanzee and a man with the biggest brain on the planet. So why would someone be dead set on killing her? Cindy McCloyd is running from enemies that she didn’t even know she had. Will she survive her first few days at Mr. Ping’s Institute? Only time will tell…

CRIMONY, JUST BUY THIS THING!

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Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents

Boyd McCloyd and the Black Ooze, Part 2

If everything evil in the world is headed to the same place, then why would Boyd, Reggie, and Smelts be going there, too? Saving the world is a real hassle when confronted by rabid vampires, flying monkey-wolves, and zombies with a vendetta. Boyd just wants to go home, but that isn’t going to happen when the fate of the world is at stake…

MEANWHILE…

Cindy McCloyd has found herself smack dab in the middle of a revolution featuring robots that want nothing more than the death of everything on the planet. Throw in a bunch of dwarves and a beast known as the Ragnathorik and you’ve got a disaster. Journey to the center of the Earth with a fifth grader, a chimpanzee, and the Grand Artimithian!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU COULD BE BUYING THIS THING!

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Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents

Boyd McCloyd and the Black Ooze, Part 3

Boyd, Reggie, and Smelts are about to get some very reluctant allies on their way to the Institute! The Conspiricetti’s hired goons are after the same thing and the only way anyone is going to get it is if they team up against a dream demon, zombie Nazis, and a whole lot of evil. Who will betray who? And how does Dracula fit into all of this?

MEANWHILE…

It’s an all-out siege against the underground city of Garnithia, and the city’s only hope is Cindy McCloyd, or as the dwarves call her, “The Chosen One”. The fate of the planet hangs in the balance as Cindy and the Doctors battle giant spiders, evil robots, and the evil and deadly Ragnathorik. Will Cindy ever see the light of day again?

Why wait to learn about it? Click here!

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Mr. Ping’s Almanac of the Twisted & Weird presents

Boyd McCloyd and the Black Ooze, Part 4

It all seems so simple, but when Boyd McCloyd, the Conspiricetti, Cindy McCloyd, Madame Hookworm and every evil creature on the planet converge on the Institute with different agendas, something’s gotta give! The Obsidian Nectar’s ancient curse could destroy everything we know and only Boyd and Cindy can stop it.

Bloodthirsty Vampires, Brain-Eating Zombies, Rabid Hyenas, Double-Crossing Hunchbacks, Skeletal G.I.s, Bat-Winged Monkeys, and a thirteen-year old boyd who just wants to go home and eat a cheeseburger…

…In the end, it’s Good versus Evil, and Evil seems to have the advantage!

You’re a fool if you don’t click here to learn more!